Its a struggle and I am a little sad but I have to say farewell to this relationship.
We have been together for such a long time, so long in fact I cannot remember how we met. One day you were just there and didn't leave.
There were definite moments of feeling safe with you, you kept me in a place that was comfortable, secure and normal. I didn't need to stretch myself or question the status quo, and when I wanted to try something different, you convinced me it was a bad idea. You said if I could not do it perfectly it would be a waste of my time and everyone's.
Other people have better ideas, skills, experience so why would I think I could do these things? So I stayed where I was and felt comfortable. You reassured me of all of that.
But no more.
Like a Caterpillar my time as that caterpillar has expired because my wings are ready and I want to use those wings!
Our partnership no longer serves me, you have been holding me back, keeping me in a comfort zone that is no longer comfortable and that safety you whisper to me, is not safety at all, it is a compost heap that had me slowly decomposing and frankly I don't believe you are supporting me In the manner I need and deserve.
For year now I have been in the service of helping people, assisting and guiding folks through some terrible incidents, over coming massive adversity and guiding others to achieve their dreams and goals, but for some reason, you Mr Impostor have interfered in my life; to pull me down, keep me in the same rut and not let me take risks to expand myself or my business.
I will not be listening to you anymore, you are telling me fibs, stories and untruths.
If and when I make a mistake, well that, my soon to be rid of friend, is a learning situation, not a failure.
It is not the mistake that matters, its how we deal with it, what learning we can take from it and how we apply the learning in our life.
So that is what I am doing.
That self talk that you convinced me was other peoples voices, well I now know that is my inner critic, I am going to show my inner critic love and compassion, we are going to work together and support each other so when I talk to myself it will be around friendship, love and support. I will be my own cheerleader.
And you can throw you stupid rules in the bin, those guidelines you had me believe, you convinced me that is was safer to follow these rules. What Rules?? There are no frigging rules!
So I am going to right my own rule book, I can visualise my success quite clearly now I no longer listen to you.
Visualising is powerful and I will practice it daily because I am worth the effort.
You know those times that you've whispered in my ear about not belonging, those situations when I was the only women in the room?
The only parent in a group, the oldest mum in the parents group.
Well my friend, there was nothing wrong with that in itself, just the usual stereotypes and it didn't have anything to do with me.
Well I have now muted you, your voice is no longer needed and definitely not wanted.
I am happy to shout you down now, my voice is louder!
I am going to talk about my successes publicly, I am going to reward myself, I am going to acknowledge my challenges because we all have challenges! Embrace them even.
So bugger off back into you hole of despair and inequity, you are no longer needed Mr Impostor Syndrome.
I am not going to wait until I feel confident to start putting myself out there. Courage comes from taking risks. I am going to embrace those risks now and allow my confidence to build.
Because Mr I you have no say in how I feel anymore.
I am breaking up with you I have much to give and I will give it and value it.
Good riddance Mr Impostor and hello freedom.